Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
