my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
