I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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