Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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