Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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