I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
