I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
