If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
