I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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