i just had sex bonerless
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
