Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
