apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
