I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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