were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize