ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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