Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
