I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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