a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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