So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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