I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
