so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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