if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
