How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
