I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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