sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
