There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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