Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When are your genitals available?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
