Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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