I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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