Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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