i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
