how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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