no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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