from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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