Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
