I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
