When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
