he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
