you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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