you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
