Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
