i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The feeling are messing with the penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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