i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
