The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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