If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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