please come you make the beer taste better
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
