He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
