I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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