I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
