Please, let me fuck your mom
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pants are for mortals
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
