I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
