hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
