I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
