I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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