what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize