i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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