I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
