Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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