I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
