Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
