Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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