That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
