In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
