bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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